7 'myths' that screw up work effectiveness and enjoyment!

Remember: True power is all about finding out what works for you.

Myth no. 1:Т  All this тЂ˜softтЂ™ stuff is a waste of time; well, what gives you the biggest headache (and heartache) at workтЂ¦ the actual tasks you do or the people you have to deal with?Т 

IтЂ™ve studied and worked with more тЂ˜hardтЂ™ systems than most people: I have a 1st Class BEng (Hons) Manufacturing Engineering & Management, Award winning (IEEE Vickers PLC), top of my year degree from Loughborough University of Technology; IтЂ™ve designed and researched prototype cars at Ford, resolved тЂ˜real lifeтЂ™ production line problems, taken engines apart...; IтЂ™ve programmed a mobile Telecoms systems for SingaporeтЂ™s 1st privatised network; IтЂ™ve developed, managed and taught software systems in banking, enabling the bank to manage its credit, trade and save ТЈ20million a year... and yet I"ve spent the last 12 years exploring the тЂ˜softтЂ™ stuff because in work the тЂ˜hardтЂ™ stuff was rarely where the тЂ˜problemsтЂ™ layтЂ¦ pretty much every time there was a work issue, either for myself or with others, it was a тЂ˜peopleтЂ™ thing... a lack of motivation, stress, conflict, attitude issues...Т that screwed things up.Т  And why?

Because virtually all of our тЂ˜educationтЂ™, at school and work, focuses on mastering the тЂ˜hardтЂ™ systems, and the тЂ˜softтЂ™ skills we learn are usually focused on тЂ˜managingтЂ™ or manipulating the symptoms e.g. stress management, conflict managementтЂ¦ theyтЂ™re surface level fixes, which is why things rarely stay тЂ˜fixedтЂ™ in the longer term.Т  Until youтЂ™re ready to face the тЂ˜softтЂ™ stuff at the very core i.e. stuff like your thinking patterns, control patterns,Т primal emotions like fearтЂ¦ namely, the stuff that really drives you, sabotages you or supports you, youтЂ™ll continue to fire-fight the surface symptoms of stress, conflict, dissatisfaction and so onтЂ¦ and (work) life will become more and more uncomfortable and costly; I guarantee it.Т  Now that"s said: onto myth no.2!

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Myth no 2: You need тЂ˜fixingтЂ™; youтЂ™re actually an amazing creation that has everything it needs to have a incredible life and do a great job, trouble is youтЂ™ve got bogged down in trying to please those around you because your job, as a child, was to please the people who kept you safe, that way theyтЂ™d take тЂ˜careтЂ™ of (to varying degrees) and so you became a montage of other peoples beliefs... hopes... desires; you buried the тЂ˜realтЂ™ you.Т  LetтЂ™s imagine that the тЂ˜realтЂ™ you is like a clean, shiny windscreen; easy to see out of, it allows you to navigate the road ahead, clearly and directly, that is until your conditioning by others muddies the view; now you can still see the road but the way ahead is a lot less clear... itтЂ™s much easier to get off track, to miss your turning ... you quickly feel lost but youтЂ™re not really; all thatтЂ™s needed is that you learn how to clean your windscreen and keep it clean, so you navigate the way ahead more easily.

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Myth no.3: Everybody else needs to тЂ˜changeтЂ™; actually, you and I are wholly responsible for how we тЂ˜seeтЂ™ the world.Т  I know you might be disagreeing with this but itтЂ™s true because IтЂ™m the only person inside of me deciding what life means.Т  Now, of course, we have lots of conditioning and programming from others that informs our view of the world, but ultimately it comes down to you deciding what it is you want to think, feel and do, right now, as an adult; whilst other people may choose to do something we wouldnтЂ™t or weтЂ™d rather change about them, itтЂ™s up to you how you interpret that, because your response is was truly influences others to тЂ˜changeтЂ™, not you telling or pushing them to do so!Т  A key misunderstanding in improving performance/behaviour is how we interpret the word тЂ˜responsibilityтЂ™; often seen as a burden, its deeper meaning is missed i.e. responsibility is тЂ˜the ability to respondтЂ™; you taking more responsibility is about increasing your ability to respond, to have power over your life.Т  Just, think about that for a moment; if youтЂ™re in charge of how you perceive and respond to everything in your world, you become incredibly powerful... you already тЂ˜seeтЂ™ the world a particular way, with its pros and cons, but if you choose to тЂ˜see and behaveтЂ™ in the world in a way that benefits you more, and those around you, as opposed to the default position that most people find themselves in of being pulled about by other peopleтЂ™s whims like a puppet on a string, then you open up a whole new world of possibility, of being able to live (work) in a more rewarding way.

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Myth no.4: People need to be more motivated; there are numerous theories on what motivation is all about and how to create it, but what IтЂ™ve noticed is that itтЂ™s basically a тЂ˜carrot and stickтЂ™ act i.e. one where I тЂ˜threatenтЂ™ you with pain or a reward, or you internalise the process and do it yourself, either way the emphasis is on running away from something you want to avoid or towards something you think will bring you more pleasure.Т  Trouble is, this is a real hamster wheel: When youтЂ™re running away from something you waste huge amounts of energy fearing the тЂ˜thing to be avoidedтЂ™ and minimising any situations that might take you anywhere need it; itтЂ™s like a millstone around your neck, always reminding you of the тЂ˜boggiemanтЂ™ around the corner, should you тЂ˜failтЂ™.Т  On the other side of motivation, the running towards pleasure: you use tremendous amounts of energy as you тЂ˜pushтЂ™ yourself to get the prize, and of course, you fear not getting it; you tend to feel dissatisfied with where you are now, bringing you more pain; and when you do get the тЂ˜prizeтЂ™, the тЂ˜highтЂ™ only seems to last for a short while тЂ“ after all, how long does the buzz last after you get your promotion, bonus, new car?Т  The reason тЂ˜motivationтЂ™ falls short is because what you really want is to avoid or remove the pain of the present situation; the carrot or stick is meant to incentivise you but it only distracts you for a short while, whist actually creating even more pain because now youтЂ™ve raised or dropped the bar in terms of achievement and hopes.Т  What I believe weтЂ™re really looking for is a step beyond motivation, call it inspiration, where we move beyond seeing experiences as тЂ˜painfulтЂ™ (or even joyful) and trying to avoid them, instead you embrace whatever happens, you learn from it and even see it as a blessing to prosper (it takes a while to get here :-)).Т  And why bother?Т  Well, because you free yourself from the see-saw of pain/lust and the coping mechanisms you need to have in place to handle it; your energy is no longer trapped in the vicious cycle of chasing and avoiding like a bloody hamster on a wheel; you can face whatever the world throws at you and channel your energy from your core, like a laser as opposed to deflected light source like a lamp, to create more powerful, enjoyable and constructive careers and organisations.

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Myth no 5: ItтЂ™s unsafe to be the тЂ˜realтЂ™ me at work; because people would try to hurt me... I donтЂ™t know how, but I have this uneasy feeling thatтЂ™s itтЂ™s unsafe to do so; besides, people wouldnтЂ™t like me if they saw who I really am... so your thoughts tell you, mostly subconscious, and so you armour up every day; sure you feel a little numb... maybe even dead to the world but at least it keeps you safe, right?Т  Nah, it doesnтЂ™t; wearing a mask... armour is what makes life so damn hard because you have to pour in vast amounts of energy into тЂ˜keeping up appearancesтЂ™, to try and stop the mask from slipping so people wonтЂ™t work out what a тЂ˜fraudтЂ™ you are тЂ“ youтЂ™re not alone, most people are doing the same.Т  Thing is, itтЂ™s exhausting isnтЂ™t it, and what youтЂ™d give to just be тЂ˜youтЂ™, the тЂ˜youтЂ™ that is confident to speak up, to express your creativity... your ideas, to be open to new ways of thinking.... Just think about it: when youтЂ™ve nothing to hide or protect, and everyone else is being themselves, your energies pour into moving ahead, unhindered by the day to day ego battles of protecting your false identities, you pull together, you respect each other, you support each other; imagine what that would do to your career... your organisation!

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Myth no.6: I have to тЂ˜competeтЂ™ to be successful; of course it makes sense... I mean for me to win, you naturally have to lose... after all, someone has to compromise or weтЂ™d never get anywhere!Т  Besides, for our company to be more successful we have to be better than the тЂ˜competitionтЂ™ and thereтЂ™s only so much to go around... and so the story continues, creating a тЂ˜them and usтЂ™ scenario тЂ“ you see it between your management and their teams, between your business units and divisions; an either or mentality that keeps you battling each other.Т  And in order to maintain тЂ˜my safetyтЂ™, I have to make sure I take care of me over everyone else first or IтЂ™m in trouble; thing is when тЂ˜everyoneтЂ™ is doing the same you end up in a job where no oneтЂ™s really interested in helping you do your tasks and with a company with every employee pulling in a different direction and undermining you at the foundations; a model for success?!Т  Т 

But what happens if you turn this approach on its head; instead of focusing on an тЂ˜either orтЂ™ mentality, where someone always suffers, because in covering my arse IтЂ™m bound to pee you off which means youтЂ™ll hold a grudge and subtly тЂ˜get me backтЂ™ at some stage and then IтЂ™ll do the same... what if we see our team, business units, organisation... the sector as one body, with you being the cells?Т  The cells in your body only prosper, тЂ˜youтЂ™ only prosper because they work together to function as a whole so what would happen if you were to see the value of your cellтЂ™s unique contribution to the whole... if you were valued for it and you valued others because all of us were creating everybodyтЂ™s benefit?Т  ItтЂ™s a bit like going from being individual strands of string, with limited strength, to a collection of strands bound together into a common purpose of being a rope; you all now have immense strength and power, collectively.

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Myth no.7: Т A course will тЂ˜fixтЂ™ everything overnight; this is a classic way we sabotage ourselves and our organisations (IтЂ™ve been there and still get caught out, at times when IтЂ™m developing myself)!Т  There you are investing huge amounts of time, money and effort to sort out performance issues, after all if you can just тЂ˜manage the stress, reduce the conflict, increase the motivation...тЂ™ everything will be fine, right?Т  But it doesnтЂ™t really work, does it?Т  And the reason being is that these тЂ˜performance issuesтЂ™ are actually a red herring; sure their impact is very, very real but theyтЂ™re like the leaves of a weed; the leaf is just the surface result, the real issue lay deep in the roots that hold and nourish it; when we remove the root, we remove the weed.Т  Trouble is, we go on courses that largely teach us techniques to manage the symptoms, which is why you find that things revert back to how they were a few months down the line, except youтЂ™re more pissed off that things arenтЂ™t тЂ˜workingтЂ™, you think this тЂ˜learning & developmentтЂ™ stuff is a waste of time and money, and youтЂ™d be right, because it is when it focuses on the symptoms.

The fruits of a tree are determined by its roots... the size of a building is determined by the strength of its foundations; your (peoples) behaviour comes from your roots i.e. your belief system (map of reality that you hold),Т from the organisational culture (collective beliefs), from your primal emotion of fear... from the coping mechanisms youтЂ™ve developed to keep safe.Т  These are the roots that need tending to.

Of course transforming your garden (how you operate) requires that you remove the weeds (stuff that sabotages you), turn the soil (give yourself space to grow), plant anew (change what you "do")Т and nurture the new seedlings (apply the "new" you,Т day in and out, in aТ supportive way) for them to thrive; you have to work on a patch at a time or it all turns into one big, overwhelming mess.Т  And of course, each area is affected by those next door withТ the whole garden beingТ an integration of the many patches, but by focusing on a little bit at a time you maximiseТ the new seedlings (your) ability toТ take hold, thrive and prosper!

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What next?

The myths IтЂ™ve outlined here are all connected, and there are more of them, but remember we grow and prosper by focusing on one step at a time; reflect on what IтЂ™ve said, one myth at a time... see what it is you really think about it, how it feels... whether it does impact you and if it does, what you might do to change that.

The Change it live it website is a growing resource of information, so check it out regularly;Т and if youТ want toТ get into the nitty gritty of how to turn this stuff around in your everyday work life and organisation, please get in touch.

All the best for now

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Cheryl

Challenger of the status quo!

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